As Made Famous by Mario: Here We Go Again

At this point I'm 98% sure that my period is going to start. I always hate the 2nd week of the 2WW because I'm obsessively analyzing every potential symptom and I always convince myself that I have no symptoms at all. With that I was sad yesterday and I feel sad today. I just can't wrap my mind around whats so different this time. Why is my body so different this time, what have I done differently? I just don't understand it and it makes it so hard for me. If I could just have some clear reasoning I would be better able to cope with this, but I almost feel like I'm being punished and I'm desperately trying to find out why. So basically I'm having a bad couple of days and I hate when I start to feel like this and then I just feel like it's never going to happen. I do always feel this way at the start of cycle and then by the time we get to the FW I feel hope again. I know this is the pattern I follow every time, but it doesn't make it any easier each time a cycle ends. Now I'm just waiting for AF to show up and hoping that it happens tomorrow or Saturday so that I can time my CD3 bloodwork nicely with my schedule. And I have an overwhelming feeling that all of that is going to turn out normal and we will still be left standing in the dark with not a single light to show us the way.