Q's labor, for the most part, was fairly easy. His due date was September 3 and being that both my brother and I came two weeks early I was ready for him to arrive in mid-August. He had other plans, namely to show up on the date appointed to him, which looking back now fits his personality perfectly - that's the date that was chosen and it cannot be any other date. It's funny to think that little things like that could take shape in our personalities, but I digress. On September 2 I was starting to feel like the baby was never going to come, I was actually starting to get down about it. I desperately did not want to be induced and I was so worried that was going to happen. I should have known better because 3 days prior I had my 39 week appointment in which I had my first internal exam (I had been refusing them since 36 weeks when the Dr's office wanted to start - I didn't see the point) and I was 3cm dilated already. I had also started to grow increasingly uncomfortable, but was still talking walks every day and still sleeping without too much interruption. On this particular day I went for long with my mom - in crocs and socks I might add, ate cuban for lunch and ran a bunch of errands. One of which included getting IG a new iPhone and it was there in the AT&T store that I felt my first real contraction. We came home and my mom started making dinner while I sat on the yoga ball quietly timing my contractions. I hadn't yet said anything because I wasn't ready for all the commotion to start with IG or my mom. Finally, after IG had spent the better part of an hour trying to set up his new phone I told him he better get it set up because he would need it that night. This was at about 7:30, so we started timing my contractions ate dinner, I took a shower, did my hair, put on make-up (yes I was one of those women who wanted to be put together to be taken apart by delivery) and continued to labor at the house. Finally around 11:30 or so I called the Dr when my contractions where about 3 minutes apart. I thought I wasn't really that far along because, although painful, the contractions weren't incapacitatingly painful, they weren't lasting more than a minute and I'd only really been in labor for 4 hours (or so I thought, I know better now and had been in early labor for awhile, just didn't realize it because to me it wasn't that painful).
On the way to the hospital my contractions slowed down considerably. To the point where they were creeping closer to 10 minutes apart. I thought crap I'm going to get to the hospital and they are going to turn me away because I'm not far enough along (again being 3cm was enough to be admitted so I don't know what my crazy brain was getting at - it's not like I could un-dilate at that point). Looking back now I believe it was the sitting still that slowed the contractions. At the house I was on the ball or on all fours or leaning against the wall. Basically letting my body take the lead to tell me what would help alleviate and motivate the labor process and my body knew what to do. We get to the hospital and of course had to fill out a ton of paperwork even with pre-registration. The person in admin treated me like a non-laboring person, like I was walking in there at just the start of labor, even though at this point I obviously couldn't sit comfortably through a contraction. The hospital where I gave birth requires a laboring mother to go to triage first to be examined prior to admissions to make sure they are progressed enough. So back to triage we go and I'm asked to change into the hospital gown. I start to have a ginormous desire to pee so I ask the nurse if it's ok, she says yes and that she'll be back in a minute. So I pee and then ask IG to take one last picture of the belly (we had been doing weekly belly pictures and this one would be week 40). The nurse happens to walk back in while we are taking the picture and then never returns. She must have thought that I wasn't that far along if we could still be standing and taking posed pictures. At this point my contractions where growing more and more uncomfortable so finally I ask IG to go get the nurse - who happened to be just standing at the nurses station chatting it up. She comes in and hooks me up to the monitors and what not and asks me on a scale of 1-10 what my pain level was, to which I replied 5 or 6. I mean it was painful, but it wasn't like kill me now painful. The nurse proceeds to do an internal exam and a look of shock over takes her face. I immediately start to cry because I think something is wrong, but she turns to us and says "you are 8cm dilated and I really thought you would only be at like a 5" and then she says "I hate to see what a 10 on the pain scale is for you". Too bad she wasn't present during delivery because she would've seen it.
We are immediately admitted and moved over to the labor and delivery room which is across the hall on the other side of the nurses station. They tried to get me into a wheelchair, but I insisted on walking. At this point it's roughly 12:30am on Q's due date. The labor and delivery nurses get me set up, botch my IV - it was a nurse in training or a new nurse, but anyways she couldn't get it in and it ended up falling out during delivery anyways. They had me sign some forms and told me it was too late for an epidural, which I told them was fine as I didn't want one anyways. The head nurse starts to tell me about her own 12 week old baby and how this is her first night back at work. She then checks me and I'm at 9cm - in a matter of 30mins. At this point they start to frantically prepare the room because they think the baby is coming and coming fast. I remember the nurse telling me next time not to wait so long to go the hospital as I might end up having the baby in the car - but the point was to labor as much as possible at home because I didn't want to be confined to a bed and I didn't want it to slow down my labor. Which is exactly what it did. I made it to 9.5cm and then nearly fully dilated but a lip of cervix on my right side would not move out of the way. My water never broke naturally and after about an hour and a half in the labor and delivery room the Dr decided to break my water at which point my contractions started coming back to back. I was crying, I was hot, I was nauseous and gagging, I felt like I had to pee and I felt like I wanted it over. I was ready for it to be done. It was painful to lay there, it was painful to move, it was painful to stand or to be examined and I was getting no breaks between contractions. I was crying, my mom was crying and IG was at a total loss but trying to coach me none the less. Finally about 2 and half hours after moving into labor and delivery I was ready to push. And think about this I went from 0/3cm to 9.5cm in roughly 4 hours and that last half a cm, that right side of my cervix took 2 and half hours and the thing that changed the most was being confined, not being able to move how and where I instinctively wanted too. The pushing process starts and the Dr is called I can feel the head moving up and down and as the Dr is getting dressed I get hit with a hard contraction. I look at the nurse and tell her I want to push, but that if I push the baby will come out, she says no its fine push and I say no I'm telling you if I push that baby is going to come out and she tells me again its fine go ahead and push. So I push. And the baby comes out. And the Dr has to catch him with one hand because she's not ready. And the force of the push leaves me the a 3rd degree tear. I would say a little more coaching and little more listening would've been nice, but a first time mother is never seen as the expert in a delivery room. Which is a shame. I see Q for the first time and I'm crying and I say how much he looks like IG and then I say he's so hairy! His little back was covered in tiny black hairs. They take him away to weigh, measure and do apgars. IG and my mom make phone calls and hold him and take pictures. And it takes the Dr 45 minutes to repair my tear, in which she was not able to fully numb me so I can feel half the stitches and nearly half the repairs. The Dr and two nurses are working to repair the damage, apparently needing to push my uterus back up and out of the way. The Dr firmly tells me twice that if I cannot hold still she will have to knock me out and take me to surgery. I'm gripping the handle bars and trying my best to stay still but 1. I just pushed a nearly 8 pound baby out, 2. I have not been given any pain medication and 3. you have not fully numbed the area how you would like me to stitch your private parts without numbing them first!!!!! Ok that's what I wanted to say but I bit my lip, tightened my grip and was determined not to have miss these moments with my new son. I have always said that my after delivery was much worse then the actual delivery. The after part is what turns my stomach when I think about it because of the pain. But that experience brought me Q and he was perfect and tiny, not a wrinkle on his face. He latched on right away and snuggled up right under my chin (a thing he still does to this day) and I kissed his lips and held onto my miracle.
I plan to do my next labor (whenever that might be) natural without medication as well. I am certain it helped with successful nursing and lead to a speedy recover for both Q and myself. It helped my body bounce back quickly. I could do without the life threatening tear, but if that's what it would take to bring another little miracle into this world I would fight through that as well. I will likely give birth again in a hospital although I'd like one that has water birth capabilities. I would love to do a water birth. They say you forget about the pain of labor and delivery in order to have another baby and it's so true. I know it was painful and for months after I couldn't imagine doing it that way every again, but now nearly 3 years later I know I made the right decision and that I would do that way again. These 3 years have washed away the memory of the pain and have replaced it with the memory of the miracle. That's what I long for as I eagerly watch all the coverage of little baby Cambridge, the little tiny miracle that comes from the amazing, life changing experience of labor and delivery.
No comments:
Post a Comment